Ladies Bible Study (Kind of)

I spent 2 hours at a Ladies Bible Study tonight. Its only my second week going. But, it is amazing! We were talking about giving to the church tonight. (That's not what I'm going to talk about, though.) A question was asked; "How hard is it to change from the old to the new?" Although we didn't talk about it long, it got me thinking.

How hard is it really?

I think its different for everyone. So I thought, why not talk about what it was like for me. (What its still like.)

I used to be a partier. Hardcore. I drank and smoked. I had awful thoughts. I hung out with the "bad crowd". I did what everyone else did. I "fell" for the wrong guys. I have always believed in God. But, only recently have I created a relationship with him. I have grown fairly fast, but I have resisted change. I can't begin to tell you how hard it was for me to let go of my bad habits. I still find myself doing things that aren't right. I know I always will, because we all sin. However, they are things I can handle.

I feel as though I will never be rid of the old me. It has taken so long to get where I am now. I know that God will guide me through my journey with him, but it just feels like its going to take forever. I trust him with all my heart.

I LOVE YOU JESUS!

The day I addmitted I had baby skin . .

What this blog is going to be about, as time goes.

My blog, as time goes on, is all about my walk with Christ and all the crap the world throws at me. All about how I deal with it and how God changes me as I grow.

I have had the WROST couple of days (10 to be exact). 

My stress level hit the roof and then some. I had huge family problems! School was driving me insane! I was just boiling with anger. Everyone who even so much as joked around with me, I snapped at. I always felt bad after, but I still did it. My poor little German girl (Jessie) got it probably more then anyone. ):

anyways . .

I was talking to Eddie last night. (About everything I said before.) He told me it was like I had baby skin. Because when babies are little, something as little as a papercut, it hurts them. As you get older, however, your skin gets tougher and these things seem to hurt way less. So I began to think.

It became very clear to me . .

The closer I get to Christ, the more "sensitive" I get. The more little things seem to hurt more. It all started to make sense. Christ has softened my heart. He has taken all that old, crappy, junk out for the good new good, amazing, me. I love, love, love that he's doing/did that.

However . .

I was raised to be a strong woman. Now I'm a mess. I cry all the time. I have never been known to cry. I find that its hard to let go of who I was and let Christ change me. I'm doing it though, because I know its better to be what he wants me to be, then what I used to be.